Growing up, I always wondered why someone would adopt a child if they could create, nurture, and birth their own. I even recognized I would never be able to love an adopted child the same way. Over time though, my opinion has diametrically changed. Age and experience weathered me. Here’s my attempt at addressing/refuting the original doubts I had about adoption:
- You can’t love someone else’s child the same way as you would have loved your child
- This was my main apprehension for many years. And, it’s valid. How can you go through conceiving, nurturing, and birthing a child and be able to equate that experience with an adopted child? Would you not be missing crucial bonding moments? Admittedly, one would miss some precious/enforced bonding moments. But, bonding experiences can be created and groomed in other ways. Humans routinely fall in love with and grow to love pets, significant others, and friends. Strong bonds can be built with step-parents, friends of friends, role models, and aunts/uncles. I am confident that there is no difference if the emotional growth is fostered.
- Adopted children can have unpredictable medical conditions/personalities
- You can’t control everything in life. An adopted child is just like a biological child: intelligent or otherwise, athletic or otherwise, etc.
- You don’t have to surrender your body and health for nine months
- I haven’t ever birthed a child but it certainly seems to wreak havoc on the body! Most women must presume the pregnancy and labor process as necessary to mother children. But if you expand your horizons to the many children available for adoption, you might never have to experience the indentured servitude. You can also adopt at an older age when it is not biologically feasible for you.
- Your adopted child won’t look like you or share your traits
- This one is most certainly true and can’t be beat. If you want your kids to look like you then you gotta give birth.
I’m not sure where I was even going with this post. Just random thoughts.